Rhyme Work

Since I wrote a “proper” triolet last week, see below,
I decided to change it up a little this week for fun.
Spot the violations? – there’s really only one or 1.5 đŸ™‚

VARIATION ON A TRIOLET


When you lose your way and can’t find a rhyme,
You should start again, you’ll agree that’s it.
You will call on friends to tell you it’s fine
When you lose your way and can’t find a rhyme.
Yes you need a trick as you’re short on time
But your mind demands you throw out that bit.
You might look around for ideas sublime
But you’ve lost your way, you can’t find a rhyme
You should start again, you’ll agree that’s it.

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11 thoughts on “Rhyme Work

  1. I wanted to “break the rules” a little here. On these “set form” pieces I think it’s useful to learn the rules, apply them, and then break them. As I read this to myself it has a “rap” feel and that brings it to modern times while talking about the writing process at any time. Since these are exercises, it’s good, I think, to not take them too seriously or angst about them too much.

  2. I love what you’ve done here Gay, you’ve gained the confidence to write a triolet and then you’ve played with the meter rhythm and changed the refrain lines, you’re a girl after my own heart! Love the parody you’ve written, and I feel the pain of trying to find those rhymes to fit just right, the refrain lines and subtle changes that you’ve made on them just accentuates the frustration the narrator feels!

    Love the way you’ve also turned the iambic de dum into a dum dee, very clever! Bravo!

  3. Yes I kept to tetrameter but instead of using strict iambic, I used alternating anapests and iambs keeping the beat at the end of the foot. I think that’s allowed?? I added a line. I liked the idea of 3 sets of three so I added another [a] line “you might look around for ideas sublime”. I thought with the name triolet there should be three threes…but maybe it breaks the “round a lay” of the original triolet, I don’t know. Still,I like the 3 3 3..symmetry.

  4. It’s always fun to experiment, and if your idea speaks more clearly with some bending of the rules, I say, make a few new ones. ;_) I like the tongue in cheek attitude, and also the way the third and fourth lines both say and do what they reference with the approximate rhyme.

  5. I can’t say much, save to say this is infinitely clever and subtle at the same time. I wish I’d read it before I wrote mine as that rhyme struggle sounds so familiar…

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