Ordinary by Alexander Calder
orioles brush orange streaks
suntinting the green leaves
as eyes flutter to flash and feathers
duties dress the day
with a certain sameness
yet jazz beats break from trash trucks
tuesday plays a bluesclues day
the morning dew, singular globes–
shadows on ground, questions in trees
another beat behind the others
taking it slow, hearing distant
train whistles, steamship horns
leave clothes at laundry
saw a load of lost socks washing
wonder who found them
lunch with my love
just pbj’s and grapes
but promises of chocolates
rein in my wandering mind
satisfied with getting things right
boss buzzed, says he has new plans
hangin’ with the gang
sharing some brews and news
the number nine’s on time
back home to the one
divine time of reflection
before comfort food supper
on porch, a guitar’s playing
the full moon rises across the street
fireflies flit, mimic stars in the dark
© Gay Reiser Cannon * 6/2012 * All Rights Reserved
Posted for Triversen Form for FormForAll @dVersePoets Pub
on June 14, 2012
Beachanny's Texas 
I’m lovin’ what you did with the form. Just reread the post, jotted some notes. I’m enamoured with imagism, Williams, Pound and Stevens…and a bit in awe. Have been in such a poetic funk…here’s hoping this wil be the cure. Thanks, Gay. And thanks for your fine example. The alliteration, especially, just sang to me.
Thanks Victoria. With each of these forms I’m learning too. Sometimes they overwhelm me as well. I was happy to have found this one. I am interested in how all this unrhymed poetry evolved, and I think it’s a little daunting at times in the forest of forms, to know just which path to take. Experimenting with them lets me know which suits my own style.
nice…i like many of the touches here…jazz beats break from trash trucks…is wicked cool….the bluesclues day ha…like it too…lovely imagery as well in that close…this was a fun challenge…
You’re so funny and fun. If I hadn’t been on this road with you from the beginning you know, I think you might intimidate me. You’re just that good! And moreover, that AMAZING.
Ah – very nice and jazzy and yet quotidian too, lovely move from dew to fireflies. k.
This poem had a strange journey – yes it’s a day trip now but it started out sloppy.
Reading yours I realize that there is another aspect to the form which I had overlooked:
the stanzas stand on their own as well as being part of a whole, with a running time sequence. So much to it. A real stretch. Wonderful.
Oh Aprille – I don’t think that’s necessary exactly. I think they should be complete sentences per stanza; however, Williams himself broke from that in many of his poems with this general structure.
Oh, yeah. You got the thang goin on with this one,Gay. Sweet!
You know I’m lovin’ yours. This is my “city” voice – it differs a lot from my “country” one.
I’ve got a city voice. Don’t use it much. 🙂
“Ordinary”? I think not. There’s much to love in this poem, the rhythmic momentum, the alliterative melodic lines, the invocation of so many senses in the surroundings. A wonderful piece!
Oh you’re so kind. Now you, sir, you do intimidate me. Your precision, and yes I will say it, perfection, is a bar that’s oh so hard to reach!
Great descriptions and use of aliteration. So this is how you do it. Excellente.
Loved yours Henry. Thanks for coming by. Appreciate your reading and your support.
Love your descriptions of the sounds and scenes in your write, Gay…your wordage so entertaining. Enjoyed the challenge for us today..thank you.
I haven’t made it by to your place yet, but I’m on my way. I think this is a worthy challenge – a little tool as it were to put in our poetic toolbox. It breathes the rhythm of the language. This piece was just a “day in the life”…but I tried (in my intent) to show that there is splendor in the commonplace..and what we take for granted is magnificent.
Sounds like a lovely day. That sock was probably mine!
I just had to note those socks. After my kids left for college we found socks in the most bizarre place ranging from age 6 to age 18 size socks and not one had a mate! That’s about as ordinary as it gets.
Thank you for a poetic day, It sounds like fun being with the gang and having a brew. Thanks for the great prompt.
I think a lot of people still connect “in person” at a coffee shop, or pub, or local saloon where they catch up with things and people in the neighborhood. I wanted to note that. When I was in the UK, I was surprised how much village life surrounded the pub(s). They nearly convinced me to stay forever in Shrewsbury! That is now becoming extraordinary as we write on our devices and meet faceless in cyberspace.
I love how you worked the form into a description of your day. You’ve also accomplished the accentual ascpect of the form quite well.
This is so well done. You really drove the alliteration nail in there. I’ll be coming back to read this again I’m sure.
So luscious! you really have a gift of lifting the ordinary
Fantastic – you have set the bar so high!
Very good… really love the images, only now I realise what I forgot with mine!
Yup, this sure ticks all the boxes. I was away reading this. Delightful read.
Has a dreamy air about it… a pleasure to read. Love how the day ended.
I’m worried now my poem has missed the objective!
Peace
Love this! Great images, especially love the Blue’s Clues reference! There is really no such thing as an ordinary day, you’ve reminded us to look for the wonder around us. 🙂
Very informal, jazzed up feel to this Gay–and you make the ordinary extraordinary…I really like the way you’ve got the words hopping here. If this isn’t modern I don;t know what would be.
(And btw, there are are Whataburgers here in OK, too–I like mine with tomatoes, mayo and jalapenos—-though I think our states are sometimes joined at the hip anyway–remember that hilarious book, Baja Oklahoma? Too bad things have gotten so much more full of the Three R’s since then–religious, rigid and right.)
Thanks Joy – Forgot about the Oklahoma connection. Agree about the Three R’s. Makes me go grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
The headquarters & starting place for Whataburger is in Corpus – half the town is named Whataburger something.
Thanks also for the comments on the poem. It had a longish journey. Couldn’t make it do what I wanted and finally kicked some out and added some in and came up with this. Loved yours, very polished and yet left me sad because I know it’s the truth.
I like how you turn the ordinary day into an extraordinary day ~ I like the questions in trees and fireflies flitting ~ Appreciate your support and poetic lessons ~ Cheers ~
Gay, thank you for your great prompt. I wish I could participate but I’m running on poetic fumes these days. As it is, your poem here highlights so wonderfully how you have mastered the craft and the form.
Sonic joy when read aloud
I had forgotten about fireflies. I have not seen them for so many years. You are lucky.